Enforceable Statements

Now that Cole is really verbal, I feel like all we do is speak enforceable statements all day long.  An enforceable statement is basically something I can enforce.  It's clear, and helps me stay calm instead of not having a plan and going nuts.  I am a teacher...I love plans!  Here's an example:

Cole:  Mommy, I want some chocolate bear crackers! 

Anne: Cole, I will get you a snack when you clean up the blocks.

Cole: Mommy, I want a cookie for breakfast.

Anne: Cole, I'd be happy to give you a cookie when you finish your eggs.  (This specific time, he didn't finish his eggs after a while, so I said "Looks like breakfast is over!"  And then Cole said "No cookie for you,"  and hopped down from his chair to go watch Sesame Street.)

It's a great way to keep control when the "I wants" begin to roll out of Cole's mouth.   So instead of saying, "Eat your vegetables," which is something I cannot enforce, I say, "I love giving dessert to boys who eat their vegetables!"   This may seem like a small small thing, but for us it has worked wonders with Cole.  He's learning cause and effect, and he's becoming responsible, too.  Yes!  

And just for your wondering folks, yes, the other day when I told Cole he wasn't getting a snack because he chose not to pick up his toys, he pitched a fit complete with floor stomping, crying, toy throwing, etc.  I smiled as soon as it happened (knowing that when tantrums happen it's a chance for Cole to learn something), hugged him, picked him up, and softly repeated, "Cole, I love giving snacks to you when you clean up your toys. We'll try again next time."  And then we left the room and did something else.  Victory for mom...learning for Cole.  Yes! 

We learned about this from Love & Logic for Teachers, which was a professional development training we learned in Vienna. It was wonderful in my classroom, so we decided to read Love & Logic for Early Childhood and use it with our kids.  Enforceable statements are only one of many tricks we have up our sleeve, all thanks to Love & Logic.