Saturday, September 02, 2006

Smooth

Life has been running much more smoothly since my food dilemma post. Thankfully! We started rice cereal earlier this week, and yesterday Cole ate bananas for the first time. He gobbled it right up! He slept through the night last night, too. All this stress, though, has caused me to think about what I'm really doing this for. Why am I striving for Cole to sleep through the night and not demand to be fed every two hours? When I achieve these goals, then what can I stress about next? I'd like to say that my pure motivations are to put Cole's health and well-being first, but honestly, a lot of it has to do with my own selfishness. I don't want to lose sleep and have my milk be constantly on call. I want to protect my own agenda as much as the next guy. Cole came around and now our agenda has faded away into the distance, except for the brief golden time between 9 p.m. and when we hit the sack for the night. So...the bottom line is this. What I really want is for God to continue to change me and Chris by raising Cole, selfish agenda aside. Cole is now the practical way for God to remind us that HE really is in the driver's seat. We want it that way...when we're thinking straight!

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